Random Musings When it Amuses Me

My niece – a bouncing 9 lb baby girl – was born this morning!  Name is still to be announced…Mom and Dad are doing fine.  Mom is especially enjoying the morphine. 

I am an anxious bundle of sleepy nerves this morning as I await to hear of the arrival of my niece who was to be delivered by C-section this morning at 7:30 am.  I’m very much looking forward to meeting her and hearing that Mom and Dad are doing well…more to come soon!!

I knew that something was up with me when the other night one of my employees came to me after her shift and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you seem really sad.  Is everything okay?”

I was caught off guard – I hadn’t really noticed that I wasn’t feeling myself, which when you de-construct that statement, makes no sense at all.  In that moment, I played it off as, “oh, I’m just tired.” but on my way home that night I was hung up on the moment and realized that yeah, I’m feeling a little down lately.

And I don’t know why!

What’s the deal with that!?

I’m not overly emotional, or suicidal or anything like that, so please don’t be concerned.  But I am feeling a bit of a funk.  I’ve been sleeping a lot and have felt overly tired.  I haven’t had a lot of energy lately.  My appetite is actually out of control – so, is this emotional eating?  But it’s not constant…I had a lovely afternoon and evening with my husband yesterday and felt great.  But after sleeping nearly 10 hours last night and getting up this morning, I’m just not the complete version of myself.

So, I’m thinking that this really is a reflection of what I felt at my yoga class.  That I am experience this sense of lacking balance – both physically and mentally.  But once balance is gone, it’s tough to get it back.  What’s the deal with that?!

I’ve found another yoga class.

Yeah, I know.  “So what.”  But it’s been probably a good two years – maybe more – since I was really into my yoga practice and the return to the mat tonight was wonderful.  And it came back to me like riding a bike.

While I was engaged and preparing and planning my wedding, I attended a weekly yoga class at a studio that I adored.  The studio was on my walk home from work, back when I lived in the city, and was a peaceful retreat from the workday, wedding stress, and life in general.  I attended class with a close friend and former co-worker, and our lighthearted banter en route to class gave way to quiet support during class.  I didn’t really know anyone at the studio and never really became close to the instructor, but it still felt a bit like a community.  I’ve missed that lately.

This new yoga class I’ve discovered is actually at the community center where I live.  Though we moved out to the burbs nearly two years ago, we haven’t really gotten to know any of our neighbors and pretty much keep to ourselves.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that some of my fellow yogis were a lot like me.  And even happier to find another teacher that I liked.  And for being away from my practice for such a long time, I was quite pleased that I was able to fall right back into the flow of things again.  For the most part, I’ve maintained my flexibility.  My strength could be improved, but my balance was way off.  I fear that’s indicative of a greater problem…

Things are a bit crazy at work lately.  Lots of changes and disappointments – mostly in colleagues who I was fond of, but have learned better – have left me a bit overly focused on work lately.  I have trouble sleeping sometimes.  I go in early and stay late and work through lunch.  I lack balance.

So, for week 1 of my newly found yogina lifestyle I have set my intention on something very specific.

Reclaim your balance.